You know those moments in your life where it feels like everything is spiraling out of control? You’re up all night, your mind races, your stomach churns, nothing is going your way.
Maybe it’s the death of a loved one, legal trouble, an illness, a spouse leaving you or cheating on you.
Maybe you live with or love an addict. Maybe you are not able to pay the mortgage, buy groceries, or you lost your job.
It could even be a conversation that went south or the end of a friendship. Whatever it is that keeps that mind of yours racing and your insides pacing.
You Ask Yourself, “Why me?”
You spend hours and hours rehashing the experience, asking your family and friends what you should do, or just flat out seeking validation for being wronged in the first place.
I get it! I’ve been in this place more often than I have liked.
You question God and the Universe, “Why me?” Only to be left in the dark, not knowing if something will come along and change things for you.
But, it doesn’t have to be like this.
Sometimes, when we aren’t living to our true potential or if we aren’t living our life on purpose, the Universe will step in and say, “HEY! You! Yeah, you! It’s time for you to grow and learn how to live, truly live! I am going to pluck you out of your comfort zone and I am going to shake shit up!” This is where the opportunity to grow spiritually occurs.
One of the best things I have learned, and I absolutely LOVE sharing with people is:
This is happening FOR you, not TO you!
Yes, you read that correctly! Everything in your life, the big, the small, the good, the bad, the ugly, the joyous. It all happens for your greatest good.
I grew up with two angry, alcoholic parents who chose me to be the beneficiary of their anger. Both my parents physically and emotionally abused me for years as a child. There were several nights where they didn’t come home and having food in the fridge was more of a nuisance than necessity. I stayed home from school days at a time because some bruises couldn’t be covered. Kids at school made fun of me as did the teachers.
I had no one.
I was a scared 9-year-old girl, alone in the world. The very people who were supposed to protect me and love me I feared more than anyone and anything on this planet.
I hated my parents for decades. I wrote letters never to be sent and cried myself to sleep almost every night. I even went through periods of hatred for my other family members because no one stepped in to rescue me.
I lived enough of my life as a victim
Now, it wasn’t easy growing from a situation like this. I had many horrible behaviors and habits ingrained from my tumultuous childhood that I was a perpetual victim until, oh, about a year ago. I struggled in relationships. I struggled with authority. I didn’t really love myself and I didn’t truly know how to love. I would strive for the perfect life. I went into boughs of depression each time I couldn’t achieve it.
What Did This Do For Me?
So, how did this serve me? Well, it served me well. Thanks to growing up the way I did, I know what I do not want for myself and my own children. I know how important it is to feel secure and loved. I know how important it is to make sure my family knows they are loved, and they can count on me.
I have empathy and compassion. I know how to heal. I can help others heal.
All this bad stuff had to happen to me so I could see what I do not want in life. That’s the gift from the Universe.
Yin and Yang
I say it all the time. If every day was sunny, you would start to take the sun for granted. We need rain and storms to add variety and wash things anew.
If you never had things go wrong, how would you recognize when they go right?
If you never experienced heartbreak, how could you know how good it feels to find the right person?
If you never experienced loss, how could you experience gain?
I think you get where I am going with this. It’s all being done for you, for your greatest good. But, you have your part to play in this game called Life. It is up to you to do the work. It is up to you to search for the silver lining and never let go once you find it.
Reason For Everything
Do NOT hold onto the idea that “this” should not have happened to you; that bad things only happen to other people. Because you know what, they happen to every person and you aren’t excluded from this.
Someone said to me once, “You shouldn’t say ‘Why me?’ when the bad stuff happens unless you say it for the good stuff too.”
And they are right. It is when you feel like you can control anything and everything that is happening in your life that you get lost. Think about the good things that happened, were you in control then? So, how can you be in control when something bad happens?
Ask the Right Questions
The only things you can control are your thoughts, feelings, actions, and behaviors. YOURS and yours alone. You can control another person as much as you can control the weather.
So, if you are ready to find your inner peace, look within. Ask yourself, “Why do I think this is happening to me? What can I learn?”
Ask God, the Universe, your angels and guides to show you what you need to learn and what is the silver lining. Then trust the response that comes back to you. Trust the impressions you receive.
The one thing I will tell you, and I’m certain if you took a long hard look at your life you will see this and know it to be true, if you do not learn what you are meant to learn, the lesson will repeat itself over and over until you do.