How to Stop Letting People Rent Space in Your Head

It can be so easy to allow people to rent space in our heads. To allow their voices to overpower our own. If we are to live our life with purpose, to live with intention, we must allow ourselves to anchor our voice and raise the rent in our head.

I answered my calling, a much higher calling than I was prepared to answer. The higher the calling, the more difficult the path.

I think back to a lot of my stress and anxiety. How I tied and anchored myself to certain relationships, ideas, beliefs. I struggled to see my greatness. The energy attached to those who think poorly of me no longer affects me. It can’t. I no longer believe those things about myself. The power they had over me is gone.

I have reached a place where I know my responsibility in my life.

As empowering as it is to see where you are responsible, it can be incredibly trying and difficult. Almost like being a victim and succumbing to the will and power of another is easier than being your own person. Have you ever wondered why and how so many of us fall prey to these outside forces and feed them with our energy? We give our power to these outside sources in hopes of receiving validation and approval in exchange for our authenticity.

As we entered adulthood, we brought along with us traumas and old tapes from our childhood. The trauma we experienced in our childhood taught us a few things that we really need to unlearn. The most important being that our worth is found in the opinions of others.

Perhaps the only way we received phrase or adoration as a child was when we behaved a certain way. We learned that in order to receive love we must be the way the person giving us the love wants us to be. This is further solidfied in our adolensce as we search to fit in and be accepted by our peers. The truth is, the desire to be accepted by our peers never goes away. It only becomes more complicated as we find ourselves in multiple groups of people – work, church, PTA, sports practice, family get- togethers with the in-laws.

As we hear the thoughts and opinions of others, the tape from our youth plays on loop and the desire to be liked is triggered. When we are not accepted by others or another says something that hurts our feelings, sometimes, we stew on the words and focus on our feelings. We go to bed with these thoughts and wake up the next day thinking about them. Then your best friend or lover says, “Don’t let them rent space in your head.”

The phrase “rent space in your head” is actually a minimizing statement to what is actually happening.

When we are told or tell others to not allow others to rent space in our heads, what we are saying is, “Stop thinking about it.”

That leaves us believing if we just switch our thoughts, all will be well. But this is a far greater task than switching off a few thoughts. These thoughts belong to a pattern, a behavioral pattern, a mentality of victimhood.

For a moment, we can kick them out of our minds and replace the sticking thinking with more empowering thoughts, but we will not re-wire our brains or create new patterns by only doing this. It can take only one more person’s poor opinion or judgment for us to subconsciously rent out the space in our head to new tenants.

How much nicer would it be, how much more fulfilling would life be if we learned how to not have any rooms for rent?

Imagine how freeing it is when we are approached with conflict, low opinions and judgments from others we are able to let these offensive energies emitted from another bounce off our auric field  rather than absorbing it into our space. We have tricked ourselves somewhere along the way that this is not possible to do because we have lived a life and became accustomed to allowing people free room and board in our minds.

It takes time and effort to get here, but it is far from impossible.

It starts with how we feel about ourselves, the amount of acceptance we are able to foster for who we are and where we have come from. It is looking at ourselves through the lens of love and giving ourselves the space to make mistakes, have bad days, behave in ways we wish we didn’t. When we are able to accept ourselves fully and unapologetically it doesn’t matter what another says.

We give ourselves approval.


So, how do we reach this magical place of not caring about what others think?

This comes from having a deep understanding of what it means to be in the world and not of the world. When we place weight on the thoughts and opinions of others, when we value their validation over our own, we move further from Spirit and closer to the ego. The ego wants to be liked and adored by man. Our soul wants to be in touch with God.

We do not belong to the earth and its illusions, we belong to God, the Cosmos, the Universe. Caring about what others think about us, the words they speak in reference to us, separates us from our spiritual life, disconnecting us from God and silencing the whispers of our soul.

We must remind ourselves that we are loved without condition by God and God wants nothing but great things for us. He gave us the Universe to use at our will. We just have to believe we are worthy and its ours.

Each person in your life has a version of who they think you are in their minds. This version is created by their reality, their perceptions, through the images their thoughts create producing a reality belonging to them. This is their world, not yours. It’s time you step into your role and produce the world YOU want to live in. To be the person YOU want to be.

With the power of God and the might of the Universe backing you up, how can you lose?

If you are interested in working one on one with me to receive guidance as to what is blocking you or what patterns you need to break in order to set your soul free, email me to schedule an introductory phone call to be sure we are a good fit.

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