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How to Use the Art of Letting Go When Friendship Pass

If you have made it past high school, chances are you have lost a friend or more.

There are people who stay friends long past high school and college. While others are still searching for friendships that last a lifetime.

Relationships are hard and can be tricky. Even more so as you enter new phases of your life.

You Find Out Who Your True Friends Are After A Life Event

A friend of mine once said, “You find out who your true friends are after you experience a life event.”

At the time, I didn’t quite know what she meant. But only because I hadn’t been paying much attention to how often my friendships changed. Ever since I was young, my circle of friends has been ever-changing.

Sometimes, our friends don’t know what to do when we undergo life events and start to distance themselves. I find that when this happens, old friends are clearing the way for new ones.

The hard part is learning not to take it personally when a friend fails to be there when you need them. The fact of the matter is, if a friend cannot be there during your highs and lows and struggles to be supportive during the big moments of your life, it says more about them than it does about you. If you can look past the hurt and anger you feel from rejection, you can clearly see the relationship for what it is. You can reevaluate the friendship and decide how you want to move forward.

My Own Circle Is Changing

Currently, I’m experiencing another change in my circle of friends. People who I thought for sure would be as supportive of me as I was of them have opened doorways for new people to enter my life. I am learning that it doesn’t matter how long you have known someone or if you’ve only begun to get close. Support is everywhere, all around you if you look for it.

I noticed as I was complaining about the lack of support I was receiving from a few friends of mine that by doing so, I wasn’t paying any attention to the immense amount of support I have been receiving lately. I was taking away all the good that was coming my way–the abundance of people who have entered my life by focusing on the lack of a few friends who turned out to be not so supportive anymore.

Losing a friend can be painful, even if it is surprisingly, the best thing for you. Friendships are bonds we form in our hearts, and they live in our hearts. Friends are people you choose to spend your time with. So, when you lose a friend, especially a close friend, it feels like a piece of your heart is taken too.

It’s OK To Grieve Your Friend

The best thing you can do to ease your grief is to feel the pain. Allow yourself to be sad and miss your friend. The bond is still there. It is a part of you always. That friendship helped to shape you into the person you are today. That person came into your life for the very purpose of helping you grow. And, as they exit your life, you are getting a bonus lesson.

When you are ready, take some time to think about all the good times you had with this person. All the times they were there for you. The trips you took together, the late-night chats, the embarrassing moments that you can still laugh at. Think about all the beauty that person brought into your life. Be grateful for these moments. Moments like these are little gems the Universe uses to adorn the mundane in your life.

Mend Your Broken Heart With Gratitude

When you think about this person, and you will, use that time to send them a blessing and hold a moment of gratitude for sharing their life with you no matter how long it lasted. Do not allow the hurt from disappointment or anger sully what was once a treasure.

The people we are closest to and love the most can hurt us the most because we let them all the way into our hearts. Think about that. We are feeling such immense pain for losing someone we let into our hearts. Though it may not feel like it at the time, being able to be that close to another person is a blessing.

Each lost friendship showed me my ability to love. I love each person I bring into my life. I choose to share my life with them. I open myself up to another individual and allow myself to feel vulnerable. That is a gift.

With all the pain I have endured over the years from broken relationships and the disappointment from a lack of support, I remind myself: I feel so much sorrow now because I felt so much joy then.

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